he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
