I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
