when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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