pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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