yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
