Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
