Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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