he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
