someone get that fucking seahorse.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
