After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize