You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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