Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
