My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
