Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
