in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am midnight drunk by noon
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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