Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
