now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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