Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My penis needs a shock collar
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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