He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
