don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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