I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
