Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
