Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
