Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
