I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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