pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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