So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
