therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
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