Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
