dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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