My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
