I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
