I must be too annoying 4 u.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
