what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You smell like stripper and shame
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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