I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
True strength comes from lack of pants
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
