arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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