trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize