Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My life is pants optional.
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