Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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