paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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