We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
