I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
