And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
