If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
