ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
