would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
