Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
