i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
