Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
