and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
