I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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