At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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