I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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