This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
