Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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