he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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