I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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