i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
