so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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