'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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