I puked a lego.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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