i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
