My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The air taste purple.
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