shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
