You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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